The Degrees of Change

The past few weeks I have had a couple visitors (of course!). One of them I have known for 13 years and the other is a friend from college. I hadn’t kept in very good touch with my friend from elementary school yet it was still easy to talk to him and get a long like no time had passed. And although I had seen my friend from college more recently, it has still been some time since we have hung out. What is awesome is that nothing has changed in either of these relationships. It was like picking up when I last saw them.
I understand this is possible. It is just like how when I don’t talk to my best friend back home for a while, it doesn’t mean any part of our relationship has changed. The thing that blows my mind is not when everything stays the same but when everything is changed in the matter of days.
I am easy-going and I like to think I am pretty flexible. Especially after my experience in France, I would say I can roll with the punches pretty well. That being said, I like to have control in my life. I don’t necessarily freak out when things out of my control go wrong but the things that I was an active party in just do the complete opposite of what I expect, I have a hard time getting over it.
Expectations may be part of the problem for me. I generally expect people are good and generally believe things are going to continue the way the are going or gradually change. Yes, gradually change. Not flip-flop in two seconds. This I don’t like. I need to mentally prepare for this. And here lies the issue.
That being said. You live you learn. With each thing that doesn’t go your way, you still take something from it. I am thankful for every experience in my life. I grow from it and it makes me stronger. Moving to France was part of my road to self-invention as the fabulous Coco Channel puts it. And all of these changes are stepping stones a long the way.
Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living. –Alysha Speer
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