Silly Sorrows

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia


Life in France is strange. But I havent completely decided if that is France’s fault or the whole living on my own as an adult part.

Lately a lot has been going on and there doesn’t seem to be a break really. Dont get me wrong… work is incredible and so is my petite Parisien flat but damn, when it rains it pours.

Anyone who knows me knows that I talk to my mama a lot…. A LOT. She is always trying to lure me home and failing but when it comes down to it, she really wont let me give up. Today was one of those days where there is too much going on in your life for your brain to process it all. And there she was pushing me to look on the bright side of things. Honestly–my personal cheerleader. My mom has this ability to bring me back down to reality. The thing about me is I am pretty laid back and low-key until things get out of control and then its like all hell breaks loose… for about 2 hours until I calm down and see the crazy person I am being. 🙂 But today my mom helped me realize all i have accomplished being here and that everyday I feel like this is another day that I am learning and growing.

I have always had an easy life. To be blatantly honest. Yes, things have gone wrong and I have dealt with major things. However, I have always managed to get basically everything I want. Not easily, but still. I have always had an incredible network of people around me. My family was never far away. But now I am in a crazy new place and i have to get used to things being different.

When I have a bad day, I can’t drive 50 minutes to have my mom cook me dinner. Or when I am broke I can’t have my dad come down to go grocery shopping and put gas in my car. I don’t live in a sorority house with 34 of my close friends and room with my best friend. I don’t have a social calendar anymore. I don’t have a boyfriend to escape to when I can’t party anymore or the girls are driving me mad. I don’t live in a country where they speak the same language as me and where nothing is convenient.

The thing is though…. that strangely that is all ok. Sometimes it bogs me down and I can’t see past what I don’t have. But then (after those 2 hours of craziness) i realize what I do have.

I have more than I ever have before. I have more courage and patience. More knowledge of other cultures and ways of doing things. More independence. More responsibility. More flexibility. More freedom. More experience. More choices.

It is completely my life now. 100 percent. And I couldn’t be more proud. I am so fortunate for everything that I have. With everything going on I have realized what is important and what isn’t. I realize how lucky I am and how important it is to never take a day for granted.

You are alive and breathing. Make the most of it.

There is Always Something to Smile About

Today, early this morning, my door bell rang. It was the post and they had a package for me! My wonderful mother had sent me yet another one of her fabulous care packages. This one was my Easter present. While … Continue reading

Why Travel?

I have been working on my STA World Traveler Internship video and it has really got me thinking. I realize I am completely obsessed with traveling and all of my expendable cash (although very little) goes to my next adventures. But that is just me. There are plenty of people who don’t think this way and to tell you the truth it blows my mind. Now, I am not judging or saying different mind sets than mine are wrong. Well, because they aren’t. Everyone is different. However, to me, there is absolutely nothing that compares to the experience of travel.

Being an au pair is anything but glamorous. The days are tough and I feel like a mom of kids that aren’t mine at 22 years old. Love them to death, but still. So why do it? I find myself asking that all the time. Then I realize everything I have experienced in the last 7 months– good and bad. There are friends I have here that I have gotten closer with in a few months than with friends I have known my whole life. There is something about breaking out of your comfort zone that brings people together. That is one of things I like most about travel– the people you meet. The incredible thing is, when traveling, the type of people you meet always have at least one thing in common… the love of travel. I can proudly say I now have friends from all over the world. And the thing is, we really are not all that different.

Traveling makes the world smaller and people closer. I think when you are only able to travel for a short amount of time, you are really only able to pick out the differences that culture has from your own. But the longer, and more, you travel you realize that are people and cultures share such similarities. We are all tied together. The world is such a magnificent place and there are so many thing to explore. I just can’t imagine not having the drive to see it all. Every trip I take or new person I meet, I take something from it.

I am a college graduate. Yes I whole heartedly believe that studies are extremely important. But to tell you the truth, I have learned more in these past several months than most of my time in college. And that my friends, is why I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to stop seeing what the world has to offer. I don’t want to stop exploring. I don’t want to stop meeting incredible people from all over the world.

The thing is though, I know I am not going to stop. Whether I move back home or not. Yes, it is way more convenient to live in Europe but I am not going to let location stop me. I will always be a traveler.